To Touch or not to Touch...THAT is the question
There exists a very strange phenomenem with pregnant women. People think they can touch you. People you know...people you work with...complete strangers. For some reason our culture has allowed the "free touch zone" of a pregnant belly. Get used to the idea and decide NOW if you will be touched or not. You can't stop it once you've allowed it to begin. I was a "no touch." Can't touch me when I'm not pregnant so why in the HELL would I want you (being anyone) touching me now? Easy...I don't and didn't. I made one exception...Sean. He was allowed to touch by invitation only. I know we shared the baby inside; however, the vessel in which is was riding was MINE. Invitation only. People you barely know (I guarantee) will approach you with a "Oooohhhhh. Let me touch you belly." Notice the period. It was not a question...they're gonna touch it. The other, "Oooohhh, can I touch you belly?" sounds like a question, but it isn't. Before you'll be able to say no, the hands will be on you. It freaked me out. I let the world know early and often...NO TOUCH.
Along the same line..the comments. People think they can touch you AND they think they can comment about your appearance. "Are you feeling ok? You look pale." Gee, thanks..."Actually, I feel great" was my response (even if I felt like shit). "Wow you ARE big for 6 months." Again, "gee thanks, you're a fat ass too."
So what do you do about it all? For the touchers, as they're reaching out, a firm "please don't touch my belly" let's 'em know. If they give you that "you just sensitive b/c you're pregnant" patronizing BS, tell them they can come to the hospital and touch your belly the day after the baby is born (sorry, but it is a disgusting wad of skin). They will NOT want to touch your post-partum gut. For the commenters, prepare an arsenal of retorts. I, frankly, didn't care if I sounded hormonal or sassy. Nobody should tell another person they look bad. By the way YOU look great!!!!
Keep this in mind. Most of the touchers and commenters mean well, and people like pregnant women. Eat up the compliments and service you are bound to get over the next several months.
Got any issues? I have one...
posted by Suzy @ 7:27 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I've never understood the free touching of a pregnant woman's belly. I'm not sure I've ever touched a pregnant belly before, even when invited to. Just seems very personal to me and a place my hand just shouldn't be.
In regards to my belly, I think that Brad will have full access, he does already, so why stop now. Plus he's not the type to be annoying about it.
As for others, well I'd like to say that I'll be "hands off" but somehow I doubt I have the moxy to say something.
Can I use these responses to the "can I touch.?" question?
"Can I touch yours?"
"Wanna touch my boobs, they're big too?"
I'm hoping to avoid some of it by using large objects to hide behind, i.e. the grocery cart, my big purse, my husband. But I'm guessing you'll tell me that won't help.
I'm also guessing that people get offended when you tell them "no."
People amaze me.
As for comments, I like the "gee thanks, you're a fat ass too." Although I doubt that will ever come out of my mouth. How about "thank you, you're so kind." In the sarchastic smarmy way only a Fleury girl can.
I certainly don't like that people use pregnancy (or other hormonal female times) as a reason why they are getting reprimanded for something. Yes, I may be hormonal, but you're being an ass!
What issue do you have?
Also did you get screened for some French Canadian related birth defect?
No FC birth defect thingys...or...umm..tests.
Oh, I'll have to call you on the problem.
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