Nesting

Nesting is pregnant code for "getting your shit together before the baby comes." Some higher power out there (and all moms) knows the importance of having your ducks in a row before Gurl gets here. You are totally able-bodied after having a baby; however, leaving the house becomes more of a challenge. It is just easier to stay home. Having that said, buy all of your soup before Gurl is born. You should also...set up her room, do laundry daily (your and hers), stock up on food, stock up on toilet paper, pick up your dry cleaning, refill prescriptions...anything that requires leaving the house. Leaving the house is possible; you just want the first few outing to be experimental, for fun, not due to necessity (adds too much pressure).

A personal story about not having done my nesting. After Christmas of 2001, I bought new stockings and a tree skirt (day after x-mas sale...I think you were with me). I dutifully took them to get embroidered. Here come the mistake...I did not pick them up a week later (when they were ready). Louis was born January 16th. The stockings and tree skirt stayed at the shop until October. Life is just easier tout seul...not as cute or happy though.

Get your life together now...you will be busy later.

Banking Stem Cells?

What the heck? I have several pregnant friends who've been talking about banking the umbilical cord? Suzanne -- what is the scoop?

http://www.pregnancy-info.net/f/cordblood.php

More shopping tips

The stroller collection needs some clarification. For the BIG stroller I suggest the 3-wheel jogger type. I am not actually a jogger; however, I do walk a lot and these babies are so smooth. They also have a nifty feature...the hand break. I didn't understand this at first. Its use immediately became clear when pushing multiple kids DOWN a hill. The stroller was running away from me. AHA! "Squeeze the break," I though. Voila...babies saved. If you think you can just use this one for multi-purpose...WRONG. Take one of those big hog-daddies off the shelf at Target and try to maneuver it through, ummm, the crowded sale area of the women's department. Now imagine doing that with a grabby 2 year old in the stroller. Quick maneuverability (such as with an umbrella stroller) is necessary here.

Additional gear needed...

Pack-n-Play These are the 20-21st century answer to the play pen. I am not sure what was wrong with the play pen, but Pack-n-Play is where it's at. Get the most simple form of the P-N-P. You don't need the upgrades...changing table attached, bassinet option, dome lid, whatever. You need a place for Branee to sleep when not in her own bed. Red the instructions carefully, then ask someone who knows for a tutorial. I nearly killed someone my first time out. The set-up is counter-intuitive. FRUSTRATING!!! I'll give you a demo when you are here. You also need sheets for the P-N-P.

Although babies don't run and play, they do need to be cleaned. We tended wash our babies too often (scolded by the pediatrician at LJ's appointment). Anyway, the best method for washing babied is the giant baby sponge. This is a sponge the baby lays on in the tub. Don't waste your $$ with mini-bathtubs. You won't be able to use it for long. You just fill your tub with water (to the top of the sponge). Branee can lay on the sponge and stay warm. I loved these things. You need a good supply of baby towels. They hooded jobs. We used these for at least a year. The cheap ones are thin and stretchy. The expensive ones are just like regular towels. I like the expensive ones. Land's End (LL Bean?) makes some cuties that can have the name put one it. Hey, come to think of it, I bought one as a gift from Gymboree and never gave the gift. It's pink...you can have it.

Blankets This is not bedding I am talking about. You need blankets to wrap Branee in. Babies (newborn ones) like to be wrapped tightly...like an egg roll or enchilada. You can but pack of flannel receiving blankets. The are pretty cheap. You will only use these for a while b/c they are small. Flannel is good b/c it is hard for the babies to bust out of. The BEST blanket for the long haul are the two-sided jobbers from Gymboree. They are soft and hold up well. Louis still sleeps with one that I got when TRAVIS was born. That would make it almost 8 years old. The tag says do not dry, but, if course, I do. They aren't so good for the baby eggroll b/c they are bigger than receiving blankets, but they'll do. Here is the low-down on Gymboree. It was cheap when Travis was a baby. Now it is stylish and expensive. T had lots of it...L only hand-me-downs. They do, however, have great sales. Go straight to the back sales rack. Don't be tempted to buy what is cute in front of the store. It will be in back in about two weeks. Go there now and buy some sale blankets. (www.gymboree.com) By they way...they have girl dog stuff ("Best in Show"). IT IS NEW. Be patient. It will go on sale soon. Did I say you need lots of blankets? You do...Branee will boot on many per day.

Car Seat I am not sure if the laws are federal or state but in MI kids have to be in a seat to 4 years AND 40 lbs. Babies need a bucket type. Don't get the convertible type. Just resign yourself to spending lots of money on certain items...car seat are worth it. They buckets have a base that stays in the car. Babies have to ride backwards until 1 year AND 20 lbs. This sucked for Louis b/c he was 20 lbs by week 2. Some of these buckest came with 2 bases...one for mom's car and one for dad's car. THIS IS A MUST. Putting in a car seat is the WORST parenting job. Keep in mind that like 95% of car seats are NOT installed the right way. Put it in...have it checked...leave it these until baby outgrows the bucket. When I say have it checked, there should be someone on staff ot the hospital that does that. This is really important. Read you car's owner's manual; you might have a tether or some kind of locking contraption in the seat cracks. The buckets are heavy and are somewhat of a mixed blessing. When Branee is young, she will fall asleep in the car and stay asleep while you run errands. In a convertible seat, you have to take her out. When she gets bigger, the bi-otch of a seat will get really heavy. Around 6 months or so, you gave leave the bucket in that car and put Branee in the grocery cart or stroller or whatever.

Bouncy Seat Gotta have one. It is somewhat of an unknown...she might not like it. She also will not stay in it for very long. They are cheap, though, and can sit on a counter-top. Don't get the vibrating one...that is just weird.

Swing I had a glider for the boys. It was open at the top and had the same shape as the bucket car seat, so they could use it right away. I had to ditch it when Louis was a baby. It was possessed by the ghost that haunted our house. It sat in our basement unused you years. When LJ was born I spiffed it up for him. It turned on a rocked at will. I got scared and sold it.

Exersaucer You won't need this contraption for several months (6ish). These are great. I don't know a kids who didn't like it. It is like a walker. The child safety folks (the ones who recall everything http://www.cpsc.gov/) don't like walkers b/c babies end up walking down steps. Since you don't have steps...either would be good.

High Chairs Peg Perego is the way to go. It reclines, it locks, it goes up and down, it folds easily, it slices, it dices, it julliennes Need I say more? You can have our old one as a spare...maybe to take to work.

Back/Front Packs Front packs. I had a Baby Bjorn. It is goofy to get one but once it is there I likes it. Sean used to wear it and do the dishes with Travis. We have a backpack you can have. It is a good one and in good shape. Backpacks can't be used until 6ish months.

Feeling poor yet? Don't worry, that is what showers and rummage sales are for. ;)

Ignore everyone else...Listen to me.

I couldn't decide to blog about shopping or breast feeding. Since shopping is about 100x more fun, let's go with that. I understand you have recently had a traumatic shopping experience. Breathe deeply. There is no such thing as a trauma when shopping is involved. You don't have to wrestle with your frugle side...the want vs need battle. YOU NEED IT ALL. That makes life easy. The question is which one of those needs is really a cleverly disguised WANT. I am here to set the record straight. If I am to disclose this information you must do as the title dictates...ignore everyone else and listen to me. Here is why. I know everything. The HONEST everything that some other people are too afraid to disclose. I harbor the "How to make my life cheap yet easy" information you are after. Got it? OK. Now...let's shop.

In the Room
* Crib (get a nice one that you will love for many years. Hopefully Branee will sleep in it until she is 12...when baby 2 moves in. It needs to be high quality with a GOOD -read expensive- mattress. Don't get sucked into the "converts to a toddle bed" trap. When the crib is OUT then just get a twin bed. Buy a crib that is safe and above all CUTE).
* Bedding (Sheets galore. Branee will barf on your last clean sheet at least ten times. So, have eleven. Mattress pad. WATERPROOF. She won't be wetting the bed...yet; however, Travis had an uncanny ability for peeing out if his armpit (or so it seemed). Babies also slobber, and you don't want Branee getting a chaffed cheek. Bumper. IMPORTANT! Buy a really good one. Mine was custom made and was really expensive. It was pretty firm and about 1" thick. Some of the cheap thin ones are floppy and could pose a hazard. The downside to the kind I had was that it served as a step stool when the boys got older. Eventually they have to go. Blankets. Babies are not supposed to have covers. They wear warm jammies. Having said that, make sure Nana makes Branee a light weight fleece blanket the size of the crib...Like Louis' moon cover. It is a good fit and works perfectly).
*Rocking chair (It makes no difference if it is soft nd upholstered or wood and hard. It must be two things...comfortable and QUIET).
*Changing table (you expressed some confusion over this. Get the kind that is really just a dresser that you can snap a changing pad to. They are usually pretty expensive. Louis will use it until he eats all the knobs off...only a couple more to go. Anyway...they sell pads that snap onto just about anything. The pads need covers. You can get by with about three).
*Garbage Can (not Genie-ish contraption. Lifetime supply of poop bags - discussed in an earlier blog).
*10 Watt light bulb
*diapers and wipes...I can't recall howmany times I had to shout to anyone who could hear, "I need a diaper!" Naturally, no one brough one. Do NOT get a wipe warmer. The produce a condensation nightmare. I guarantee that a cold wipe wont be the worst thing that happens in her life.

Overwhelmed? Let's talk clothes.

* "Onesies" This is a brand name. Any brand will do. Buy TONS. Really, like 20 per size. You can go through 5 in a day. They provided added warmth and serve as a diaper lock for nudist babies.
* Carters one piece terry cloth jammies. Even though they look like PJs, you can take her out to Target in one.
* Bags. You can buy "bags" for Branee to sleep in. They are like blanket sleepers with no legs, just bags. It makes for rapid fire late night changing.
*Clothes. Well, since you are having a girl anything cute will do. And to answer your question, no. You can't buy girl clothes with puppies on them. Girls get flowers and butterflies. Boys get trucks and dogs. It is just that way...gender specific from birth. Just so you know, I will only be sending things that are pink. Don't feel too sorry for yourself...baby girl clothes are damn cute.
*Socks. HA! They don't make a sock thay will stay on a babies foot. They a re for pictures only...otherwise stick to footy clothes if you want warm toes.

Feeding
For breastfeeding, well, you already own the equipment. If you go down that road for the laong haul, you will need a really good pump. This is a freakish thing. Get over it, though, because it is necessary at any level of nursing. Since I didn't do it for that long, I could get by with...let's talk about this later.

Bottles. Only Branee knows what she will like. Travis liked the cheap Evenflo (silicon) and Louis liked the expensive Avent. You can buy a couple of each to have one had for testing sessions.

Bottle Warmer. Do not waste you money. You will pull your hair out waiting while Branee is screaming. I used a microwave. They don't recommed it because you can get hotspots. They same reason as when you that butter in the microwave one spot menlt and the other is hard. Well, it does not take Einstine to figure out that if you shake the bottle, VOILA, hotspot is gone. You really doa have to be careful. After your first 50 bottles or so you will know exactly how many second to heat the bottle.

Stroller. Bad news here. You need three. Stroller 1 is a sturdy expensive jogger type. Stroller 2 is a cheapish ($35ish) folding stroller with storage and reclining feature. This is for shopping...you can haul goods and baby can recline and sleep. Joggers are too big to take into stores. Stroller 3 is the "umbrella" stroller. Very cheap (under $10). This is for permanent storage in your car. You'll need it in a pinch...trust me.

This only scratches the surface but I have to go be a mother now.

Did somebody say diaper bag? ARGH!

NEW newborn...the parents' life

A question from the pregnant sister...What is life like during the first weeks? In a word...HELL. And that is sugar coating it. Yes, the miracle of life is glorious, but new babies are a challenge. Even the smug mothers what say, "Johnny is such a good baby." They are either liars or insane. You first two (or one) night will be in the hospital. Nurses are great. They don't ask what kind of help you want, they just do it. They bring you food, drinks, change diapers, feed the baby (if bottle is OK). Most importantly, they know what new babies are like...they don't freak out over every cry, poopy diaper, bath, gnarley belly button. After leaving the hospital is when reality sets in...unless you can take the nurse home. If you do have help, it is crucial to set guidelines for them. If they are there to help, let them do laundry, go to the grocery store, make dinner. The mother and the father need time to rest and cozy up with the baby. Real help (during these weeks) comes in the form of errand runners and chore doers*. The helpers can cozy up with the baby when you are (finally) taking a shower. I hear you have some pretty compliant help coming your way.

*As children get older, it is important that these helpers become babysitters so you can run errands without having to kill someone. Oh, yah, and they can bond, too. :-)

I mean this in the nicest way...new mothers are really dumb. You don't have the training, and the only train available is on-the job. Consider yourself as a know-nothing. Rejoice in the fact that the learning curve is very small. I was there, too. You will second guess yourself about everything...should I change the diaper now? should I feed her now? is she too warm? is she too hot? does she have a fever? does her cord look normal? should I call the doctor? is it pneumonia or just a cold? The bad news is that there are no really good books about newborn stuff. Well, if there is one I have not seen it...and I have read MANY. The good news...you inexperience will not warp Branee in her future life.

You will be tired; you know this. But I mean the kind of tired that makes you hallucinate. You need to train yourself to fall asleep easily. Actually, not really even waking up is the best idea. It goes like this...baby cries...change diaper...feed...burp...put baby in bed...all without turning on a light* (or opening your eyes if you can manage it). Keeping the lights off (or very, very dim) will help with the baby's internal clock. Bright lights tell us, "WAKE UP." We had a 10 watt buld in Louis's room. Unfortunately this routine repeats itself every 2ish hours. If the doctor says the baby should be fed every two hours that means two hours from the time the baby STARTED eating. If you start at 1:00 and the routine takes and hour (which it could), you will be up again at 3:00 doing it over again. Bad news...babies suck at the routine during the first month or so. They horse around (usually at eating) and don't get to business. After about 6 weeks, Branee will get it...up...eat...change...bed. Regarding the feed the baby every X hours advice, sometimes I know more than doctors. NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING BABY!!! If X hours have passed and Branee is asleep, let her sleep. She will eventually wake up and get fed.
* Variation to the nightly routine...baby cries...change diaper...feed baby...baby poops up the back...change baby again...finish feeding...burp...back to bed.

I am rambling. The first few weeks are so hard for a few basic reasons. You are doing the most important job IN THE WORLD with no training. So, naturally, you will focus on doing this job well. You will be tired. Here is the thing that screws it all up...LIFE KEEPS GOING ON. Clothes need to be laundered, food needs to be purchased and prepared, bills need to be paid, dogs need to be fed/walked, etc, etc. Brad can't do all of that stuff because he (Brad, are you listening?) will be actively involved in week one (two, three, four...) child rearing. Having said all of this, it can be done, but you can see now why it is hell. Get out into the world quickly. Take her to the grocery store. Expose her early to the joys of Target. It will make you feel human. After a few weeks you will get your act together, and life will become seamless again. You will quickly forget what life was like without Branee.

Huh...Budget?

I was recently asked about what kind of budget we had for our children when they were newborn. I'm not really abudget kind of person. I buy what I need when I need it...if I can afford it. The kid supplies ALWAYS come first. I can't exactly run out and but some new shorts when the baby needed diapers. Thanks to the miracle of Quicken, however, I was able to go back and review my "baby supplies" category for the first year of Louis's life. Ready? Nearly $900 for one year. That number is probably higher depending on how meticulous I was at that moment. Louis always wore Pampers (more on that later) and was on formula from about 6 weeks old. Other items were filtered into the "baby supplies" category like clothes, strollers, car seats, etc. I don't think the prices have changed much in 3 years...diapers are about $18.00/jumbo package and formula was about $15.00 a can.

Diapers. I am a firm believer in Pampers...straight-up in the greenish package. They are not the cheapest but they are the best. You can try Luvs. I reject them for two reasons...one...when they get over full (like during the night) they release little silicone (??) pee filled balls. You will ask, "What the heck is all this snow in the diaper?" Reason 2...they can't spell. As an English teacher I must boycott companies that willfully misspell their product. Coupons are plentiful to offset any overage in the cost of Pampers. Check out their wesite (www.pampers.com) & sign-up as a new mother. You will get TONS of coupons in the mail (and no crap on your email account). The counterpart to diapers are wipes. I use huggies scented. They are the juiciest...and believe me, when you are cleaning up a massive, up-the-back poop, you will want lots of juice. Coupons are also available for these guys (check you Sunday paper). The last component of the diapering trifecta is poop bags. You can buy a fancy, expensive poop eating machine (like Diaper Genie). Every new mother takes this route. The bad new is that THEY STINK. No matter which make or model, when you trap poop inside a plastic garbage can, IT STINKS. Poop bags are the solution. The are light blue, baby powder scented, handle tie thingys. They are cheap (about 2 bucks for 50). Just drop the poopy diaper in the bag, tie it up and...VOILA...poop stink is gone. You have been in my house in the presence of old poopy diapers. Did it stink? Well, don't answer that. Any stink is FAR inferior to the Diaper Genie contraption (not to mention easy on your "budget").

Gotta do mom stuff...a bientot!

Let the Debate Begin!!

Congratulations on making it to the first MAJOR landmark of your pregnancy...the gender ultrasound. (there are only two landmarks...gender untrasound and birth). Yah, yah, there are really some important diagnostics that also take place (development, for example), but what really counts is the BOY? GIRL? question. So...it's a girl. Now the debate can begin. That's the GREAT NAME DEBATE. Although it might be common belief that the mother really has the final say on the baby's name, it does not always happen that way. Have you met Louis? He should have been Erik...or even Lewis. Naming your baby is the first difficult child raising decision that you'll have to make (the second will probably involve ear piercing or something REALLY important like that). The name you give this child will stick FOREVER (let forever echo in your head). This is a job you can't afford to screw up. You lucked out with a girl. One of the two important baby naming rules is now a non-issue. The rules: no fake name (made-up names) and no "get your butt kicked on the playground" names. Girls generally don't get their butts kicked on the playground so focus on the no fake names rule. Under the heading of fake names you will find...state/city names, acronyms, combo names (like Branee), animal names (ok...I did like Fox), double names (John Johnsen), dog names, and product names. For purposes of uniqueness avoid names that end in Y (Brittan-Y). One thing you might as well get over now...and it will be disappointing...no matter how hard you try to come up with a normal yet uncommon name, there WILL be one in little Freddy's kindergarten class. Take Louis for example. NO ONE is named Louis anymore...that's what we thought. I met a woman the other day with a 3 year old son named LOUIS. ARGH!!!!!

Keep a list of names you like (a secret list). Names will come to you at the strangest times...while you're sleeping, in line at the grocery store, while doing yoga, wile cooking. Write them down. We likes Louis early on...and then forgot it. We could NOT remember THE name we both liked. Pathetic, huh? You don't have to decide until little Freddy pops out (no it won't be that easy...the popping I mean). Somehow you will just know her name.

The final bit of advice regarding names...DO NOT TELL ANYONE YOUR NAME CHOICE UNTIL AFTER THE BIRTH!!! Except me :-) I am not kidding. Even your closest, dearest friend will steal it...for a kid, a dog, a plant. It will be used, and Freddy can't have a used name.

OK, practice this, you and Brad together. Step one: smile. Step two: nod. Step three: say "that's a nice name." This is what you do when someone suggests a name to you. In your head you can be thinking, "that's the dumbest f'ing name I've ever heard!!!" but keep it to yourself.

So, seriously, what'd you think of Branee?